My PC's being a bitch (the woes of living in an area heavy with salt air) so I'd better make this update before it dies on me, and my mental health with it.

In the '90s, there was a short-lived action-adventure/comedy TV series called Alien Nation. Three years ago, when you and I were younger and much less cynical about how agonising and humiliating it is to be human, and how you can't rely on anybody because - although we may not be alone in the universe - in our own, separate ways we are all alone, our friend Dave (formerly known as Twink) discovered that a Charles S. Kaufman had co-written an episode of that show. The episode was entitled "Eyewitness News." We also got a look at a few clips, and we did a merry little dance of joy. (Those clips can now be found over here.) Get your dancin' shoes on again, because today I bring you the actual script (PDF, 1.52 MB).

Granted, for all we know it mightn't even be "our" Charlie whose name graces the cover. (But since it was a Fox show, and our Charlie was definitely working for Fox in the same period... well, come on.) And granted, it was co-written with three other guys. So maybe Charlie's contribution consisted of six lines and a well-placed pause. But I doubt it, since his name is at the top, and one of the characters in the episode is actually named Kaufman. Hell, the script's free, so what're you complainin' about? Go read it and let us know what you think.