Okay, longest version of Charlie's speech. It's 10MB and starts with Samuel L. Jackson walking out, introducing the category and whatnot. (Ends with Charlie and co beginning to walk offstage - unfortunately we miss the bit where they launch into the Potato Rap, complete with breakdancing.) If you don't want that because you're on dialup or pressed for time, you still have two shorter options: "The Oscar goes to", and the speech only. (The clips I uploaded earlier in the week.) They're in Windows Media format, and a major thank-you to Twink Schiff for those. If you want an avi of the speech, here ya go, compliments of Florin. MPEG-4 is more your style? You can grab the same clip here, thanks to Julie from Morgan and Wong Online. If you're a Kaufman fan, you should really check out Darin Morgan some time.

Thanks to robix for assistance with the uploading, and for a couple of new Oscar photos added to the gallery today. Even more new ones came in via the great Maria. Sample pic: Charlie starts a game of peekaboo at the afterparty. I hear that game raged into the wee hours of the morning, until Sean Penn told everybody enough was enough.

 There are also two new pics from the WGA Awards in the gallery, thanks to Maria.

And I hate to break it to everyone, but Charlie's a goner. The life expectancy of Oscar-winning writers is less than folks who were only nominated. If it's on the web, it must be true.

In fact, statistically speaking, Oscar-winning writers actually die on average 3.6 years sooner their peers who are just nominated. Redelmeier offers two possible explanations. First, professional prestige has less of a direct impact on screenwriter's careers than it does on actors and directors. After all, screenplays are read anonymously and who remembers who actually wrote Driving Miss Daisy? Another possible factor? Unhealthy lifestyles. Award-winning actors and directors wind up with entourages of personal trainers and nutritionists who make sure they take care of themselves. Writers don't. Indeed, the financial security brought on by winning an Oscar may even allow them to indulge more deeply in their unhealthy habits.

Cheery! Thanks to Florin for giving us that note close with.