*choke, faint* CONGRATULATIONS CHARLIE KAUFMAN, Michel Gondry and Pierre Bismuth on taking out Best Original Screenplay. I really was not expecting the win, cos I'm a pessimist, but it's thoroughly deserved. And now I don't have to say a bunch of crap about how it's good enough to be nominated. Cos you know that isn't true when you win. We'll have more pics and stuff later, but for now I say: WHOOOOOOOOOOO!! About damn time. Thanks to Juztin for the pic above.

Transcript of the speech, thanks to Dan (we'll have a video up shortly):

Uhm...thanks to the Academy...[looks up at monitor and sees his time limit dwindling[...29 seconds...27 seconds...uhm...that's really intimidating...uhm...I...uh...I'll try to look somewhere else [turns head to his right]. Uhm...there's so many people...uhm...worked so creatively on this movie and so...I, I feel like this award is for all of them...and I most especially want to thank Kate Winslet...and Jim Carrey...and director Michel Gondry....and uhm...producers Anthony Bregman and Steve Golin...and...uhm...[looks into monitor again]...I'm s'posed to wrap up now and...uhm...[looks to his right]. No, I don't want to take my time...I want to get off the stage...uhm...so thank you. "Hi" to my daughter, Anna.

No mention of a potato, but do we care? Nah. You could tell he was dying to do something potato-related. Yup. Major thanks to all who participated in the You Say Potato campaign: maybe we sent our vibes the way of that winner's envelope. In any event, we laughed, we cried, and we promoted an important vegetable.

Oh, and to Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor: I take it all back. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Oh oh, and to all the experts who knew exactly why Charlie would not win: NYAH NYAH NYAH. (Hey, I don't have to be humble.) Hooray for good news in an otherwise not-great few weeks.